Monday, 14 May 2007

Notes on Eurovision 2007

• Lots of glitter and very silly hats may (Ukraine) or may not (UK) translate into big points

• The Greeks think Ricky Martin is still cool. The Spaniards have similar feelings about N*Sync.

• Lithuania should stick with being funny. Arty silhouettes and dopey music won't win you any friends.

• Moldova is apparently a world leader in Brazilian waxing and low-cut jeans. The combination of these things can be quite mesmerising, let me tell you.

• Russia has decided that chicks in school uniforms is the way to go.
They didn't win with two (t.A.T.u. in 2003) so they decided to try three.

• There has been an exponential increase in the number of hard rock acts entering Eurovision.
The technical term for this is The Lordi Effect.

• In 2008 we can expect The Marija Effect . . . which means a lot more lesbians singing power ballads.

And finally . . .

• Ireland should just give it the fuck up. Seriously. That sounded like a bad Seekers album track circa 1974.


Shannon said...


A very succinct wrap up... however a few items missing:

1. You cannot use the words "Seekers" and "Bad" in the same sentence, it falls under the Howard anti-sedition laws

2. No mention of how Georgia was robbed. Have I mentioned I am considering purchasing a holiday house in Tbilisi?

3. Cyprus not in the finials? Best song by far. I am still not sure how there was not a riot of confusion in Greece, who the hell were the Greeks going to vote for now... clearly not Georgia the bastards.

I trust next year you will be more detailed in your assessment. You know your wife agrees.